100 Ways To Kill A Doctor: Hokey Pokey
by Spooladio
Summary: Loosely based on The Pulled Groin Extrapolation Sesaon 5 episode 3. I apologize in advance for amateurish writing. I am trying to incorporate techniques from comments on previous stories from Betas. Hopefully they see improvements in my writing. I am appreciative of their efforts on my behalf.


_**11:30 pm, Friday, October 30**_

Amy is helping Leonard up the stairwell of 2311 N. Los Robles.

 _"_ There we go, last floor."

"I just can't figure out what happened. I put my Mr. Happy in, I took my Mr. Happy out, I put my Mr. Happy in, and something just snapped."

"Were you actually making love to me to the tune of the hokey pokey?"

"Yes it goes back to my childhood. My bedroom was next to my parents. I grew up to my mom and dad singing that tune while procreating."

Amy chuckles.

"I had a much different experience. My mom spent time in a Magdalene asylum when she was a young girl. She avoids sexual contact with men. I am a test tube baby."

"Wow! What is a Magdalene asylum?"

"An asylum designed to keep women from being promiscuous. I've asked but my mother never talks about her stay."

Leonard removes his arm from around Amy's shoulder and limps to his door.

"Thank you for breaking the head off the ice swan so I could hold it against my pulled groin."

"I excel at spatial reasoning, and I had a hunch that the graceful slope of its neck would cradle your genitals nicely. In addition, it was in close proximity since we were under the table having sex."

"I did have a great time. Can we get together for dinner after my pulled groin has healed?"

"What about Penny and Sheldon?"

"Let's keep our relationship on the low. You don't want to give up Sheldon and I don't want to give up Penny."

Amy nodded yes.

"In that case I look forward to dinner once you've healed."

Leonard gives her a naughty smile. "How about a kiss to seal our understanding and make the pain in my groin better."

They kiss passionately feeling excitement knowing they could be discovered by Penny or Sheldon at any moment.

"I'm gonna head home."

"Okay. Well, good night."

 **SPOV:** ** _11:40 pm, Friday, October 30_**

Observing Leonard and Amy through his door viewer.

 _So they had coitus. Amy cheated on me with Leonard._

 _Unacceptable!_

 **PPOV:** ** _11:40 pm, Friday, October 30_**

Observing Leonard and Amy through her door viewer.

 _Leonard cheated on me with Amy._

 _It's Junior Rodeo time._

* * *

 **Saturday, October 31 – Amy's Apartment**

The LED display of Amy's bedside clock turns from 2:59 am to 3:00 am. The illumination from the clock casts a spooky red glow around the bedroom.

A figure wearing black fisherman's rain gear stands at the entrance to the bedroom looking at Amy's sleeping form. Holding a metal bat the figure approaches Amy's bedside.

 _I want to be the last person Amy sees._ The figure softly whispers, "Amy."

Amy turns towards the noise and slowly opens her eyes. She sees a figure in rain gear and rubber boots with a raised bat. Before she can scream she feels an excruciating pain in her head and sees a blinding white light.

* * *

 **Saturday, October 31 – Leonard's Bedroom**

Leonard's alarm clock reads 1:45 am. Easing the door open Sheldon quietly approaches Leonard's bedside. _I'm glad I prepared for this day by training Leonard to respond to my hypnotic suggestions._ With his mouth near Leonard's ear he speaks using a soft hypnotic voice.

"Leonard, I want you to get up, dress, and drive to your lab at Cal-Tech. If anybody asks why you are there, state you had an epiphany and wanted to test your hypothesis immediately."

"Remove the cover from the laser's power source. Setup and test your laser at maximum power. Do not wear any safety equipment. Wash your hands and pour water on your arms and immediately touch the hot wires of the exposed power source. Say yes if you understand my instructions."

"Yes."

Sheldon watches Leonard get up, dress and leave the apartment. He sits at his desk typing in a password that opens up a live feed from Leonard's lab.

Leonard enters his lab and follows Sheldon's instructions perfectly. The resultant electrocution causes an explosion. Sheldon looks at his watch to denote the time, 3:00 am.

* * *

 **3:45 am, Saturday, October 31**

Sheldon is awakened by a phone call from President Seibert.

"Sheldon, there has been an explosion in Hofstader's lab. I'm sorry to have to tell you but Hofstader is dead."

Sheldon dropped the phone and pretended to be inconsolable with grief. He told President Siebert he would notify Leonard's mother, girlfriend, and friends immediately.

He dials his friends. They agree to come over to 4A. Sheldon tells Howard and Bernadette he could not get through to Amy and asked if they would stop by her apartment.

* * *

Amy did not answer her phone or door. Bernadette used her key to enter followed closely by Howard. Immediately she knew something was wrong. As she entered the bedroom she screamed. Blood was everywhere Amy's head was bashed in. She ran to the bathroom to throw up with Howard throwing up in the sink.

When her crying and vomiting subsided she dialed 911 then contacted Sheldon.

Sheldon was sitting in his spot waiting for his friends to show. He wanted his friends to be present before telling Penny about Leonard. He heard his phone buzzing on the table.

"Hello Bernadette."

Tensing while listening to Bernadette crying hysterically he waits until she calms.

"Sheldon she's dead. Amy's dead. We found her in bed and she appears to have been bludgeoned to death. It may be the work of the 'Fisherman.' There was a bass beside her. We are being detained by the police but should be there in about an hour."

Sheldon shuts down. "Oh dear Lord not my sweet Amy."

Sheldon couldn't wait for his friends to arrive he needed his best friend now. He rushes to Penny's apartment. Sheldon's signature knock penetrated Penny's deep sleep. Getting out of bed she grabs her robe. Glancing at the clock it was 4:20 am. _I'm going to kill Sheldon for waking me so early_.

Penny is to slow. Sheldon uses his emergency key to enter her apartment. As she is coming out her bedroom Sheldon embraces her tightly and cries on her shoulder.

"Penny, Amy has been murdered by the Fisherman and Leonard was killed in an explosion tonight at his lab."

Penny screams, "NO!" Her heart shatters. They stand in Penny's living room crying and trying to console each other in their grief.

 **Two weeks later in apartment 4A**

The gang is sitting in the living room watching the news. Sheldon and Penny have become closer through their shared loss of Leonard and Amy.

CBS Evening News

"We would like to update our viewers on the deaths of Dr. Leonard Hofstader and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. Ironically they were best friends who died on the same day."

"Dr. Hofstader's death was ruled an unfortunate laboratory accident."

"Dr. Fowler was murdered by the Fisherman. The authorities have exhausted all leads trying to find the Fisherman. No identifiable patterns can be ascertained from the Fisherman's victims or time line. However, his first victim was identified in 2007 next to a bass with the words 'Bitch's Ass' written in blood."

Penny's thoughts:

 _I guess I achieved fame by becoming the notorious serial killer known as the Fisherman. That idiot Kurt is probably still wondering who is stealing his rain gear from his locker at work._

 _I miss Leonard so much. Thank God for Sheldon._

 _As_ tears escape her eyes she leans on Sheldon's shoulder.

Sheldon's thoughts:

 _The Fisherman is an amateur serial killer when compared to me. I need a name that's a hook, pun intended. Possibly TSK for The Silent Killer. Who shall I target next… Leslie perhaps?_

He releases a mournful sigh.

 _I could care less about Leonard, however I did not expect Amy's death to hit me so hard. Thank God for Penny._


End file.
